Butterflies Never Die
by kagura-october
Summary: Alois kidnaps Ciel just for the heck of it. But what will Ciel do when he is summoned to Alois' bedroom, by a rather depressed Alois? What will he do when Alois decides to end his life? Will he stop it, or will he continue on and forget the whole thing happened? Rated M for later chapters
1. Free Falling

Chapter 1

Free Falling

Alois sat there completely motionless; emotionless. His gaze was cast away from the other, knees hugged tightly as he watched the sheets of his bed, as if something were to pop out of them at any moment. Of course, this could never happen, since such a thing was utterly impossible.

The room was dim and depressing; moonlight being the only form of illumination in the darkness. Pale light created an ominous glow, which coated the blond's face, thus making him look even more depressing. The two were in Alois' bedroom—for no apparent reason, if I might add— doing absolutely nothing. Such silence was unsettling, even when Alois was such a talkative person. Alois lives up to his notorious reputation, which is being unexpected. Not even the other male in the room understood what his problem was. Well, then again, said male isn't very good at reading other's body language, let alone reading the atmosphere.

Alois usually tended to try not to act so weakly in front of this person. This would have been the first time, and quite frankly, he didn't like it one bit. The words _weak, useless, _and _pathetic _swarmed around in his head like annoying little flies; pestering and never ceasing. Why he thought these thoughts, he didn't know. If he did, Lord knew that he wouldn't be the way he was. Maybe he was in denial? Alois didn't believe he was in need of help; his pride took good care of such a thing. Nevertheless, he did think this way. Claude helped, even if Alois knew that his love was only make-believe, and that he was imagining all of these things. Again, denial took care of such things.

"Do you intend on keeping me here, waiting for you to speak all night?" The slightly feminine voice spoke out, causing Alois to stir only slightly. "I don't have time to just stand here, you know." Silence. "Fine. Don't speak. I'll be taking my leave then," With that, the male turned on his heel, and started to walk away. Suddenly, Alois reached and grabbed his wrist, restraining him from leaving.

"So you wish to hold me captive here?" The male, formally known as Earl Ciel Phantomhive, spoke.  
Alois whimpered in response.

"I suppose I have no choice but to stay here with you," He began, finishing his sentence with a mumble. "Even if I relish the idea." Reluctantly, the contracted boy sat on the bed, coat in the process of being removed.

Alois wasn't surprised in the slightest that he decided to stay. The blue-eyed boy had no choice, after all. Alois could force him to stay with him, even in his dark state. Although, the fact that he even had the audacity to stay with him amazed the blond. How could he give in so easily? This wasn't like Ciel at all, and Alois was able to notice this quickly. Even his demeanor seemed slightly off balance, as if he were going to fall at any giving moment. Or maybe as if he was going to break at any moment. With a deep sigh, the blond lifted his head to gaze at the other. One would view Alois as the kind of person to always try to take care of himself, which is to look presentable and high quality. In this case, however, he looked absolutely atrocious.

The dark circles under his eyes indicated that he hadn't been getting much rest, and the abnormally pale skin he had was enough to send chills down one's spine. Blond, usually well-groomed hair was messy and parted in every which way. Alois was a rather slender child, and everyone knew that, but as of this moment he looked a bit _too _slender. Usually large, ice blue eyes looked sullen, somber, and lifeless. His breathing was shallow, almost as if he was trying to stop it entirely.

Ciel couldn't help but notice this. How could the brat let himself go so easily? If he were his usual self, the blond would have tried to make advances on him, since they were in his bedroom anyway. The fact that his gaze looked so lifeless and dull actually worried Ciel, and he couldn't think of a possible thing to respond with.

Alois exhaled deeply before speaking. "You understand… Don't you?" His words were hushed, barely above a whisper. Though, Ciel had no problem hearing him since the whole Trancy Estate was as quiet as any summer evening.

"Understand what exactly?" Ciel replied, the usual uptight attitude in his voice upheld.

"Why I am so."

"I cannot say that I do,"

Actually, Ciel had been in the manor for a few days now. When Alois was feeling more upbeat, he had actually kidnapped the little earl for personal enjoyment. He was expecting that demon butler of his to come and rescue him, though when no one came, he sort of got bored with him and left him to do whatever. Recently, however, Alois had become so distant. It had gotten so bad that Ciel forced himself to check up on him, to find him where he was.

"Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to pry such an answer out of you, Trancy?" Ciel was clearly in no mood for games; neither was Alois. "No, that won't… Be necessary." He managed to choke out.

"Why do you despise me, Ciel?" Alois asked this so suddenly that it started Ciel to the point of him almost falling off of the plush bed. "Despise? I do not despise you. Though, you can get on my wits end at times." This was true. Ciel, no matter how many hurtful words he spat out at the Trancy earl, he didn't mean them. In fact, more than anything, he felt sorry for the boy. What had happened to him was awful at best.

"I know you do." Alois replied.

"Do not."

"You do."

Ciel only sighed deeply in response. He could tell why he thought such a thing. Ciel was the kind of person to say such hurtful sayings, only to realize what he had said after a long period of time. "Let me change the subject," Ciel began annoyance evident in his words.

"No. I want you to listen." Alois' voice had gotten louder and more force was added to it. Since his words were a mere whisper before, however, they were now well above a whisper to a normal sounding voice.

"I suppose that is only fair. Speak… But make it quick! I'm about to retire for the evening." Alois nodded softly before sitting up straighter, his rib cage clearly visible through his white night shirt. "I feel sad. Why… Why do I always feel so sad? I-It just comes out of nowhere and… and I don't know how to deal with it. That bastard Claude doesn't care! That bitch doesn't comfort me. Hell, I don't even know where she's been as of late!" His voice rose so fast, but Ciel remained calm and listened to him. "I… I just feel so alone. Ciel… Why do you despise me, yet when I've done such a thing as kidnap you, you stay? Why do you stay with me? Why do you stay here to listen to me?"

Ciel was utterly amused and intrigued by Alois' ramblings. He would call them useless, but they weren't. They were raw spats of sheer emotion that had been bottled up for God knows how long.

"Ciel, why do you despise me when I care for you?"

That threw him completely off guard. Of course, he knew that the blond Trancy boy had an unsettling infatuation with him, which usually ended up in provocative advances toward him. But for once, Alois was acting sweet. Why was he sweet all of a sudden?

"Why do you cast me away like a mere dog?" Alois' gaze was cast back down at the sheets; emotionless as before. "Say something! Say something, damn it!" Tears were in the poor boys eyes now, even a bit of mucus receding out of his left nostril.

Ciel was frozen; completely and utterly frozen. He didn't know what to say, and as a result of this, he didn't say anything.

Suddenly, Alois' hand shot up and quickly was smacked across Ciel's face. Ciel's hand gingerly went to cup his cheek, a solemn expression worn as he stared directly at Alois. Alois was sobbing now; hard. Sniffling occasionally, Alois slumped out of bed and over to the balcony. His crying face looked sadistic, just as he was. It looked like he was going insane, and Ciel couldn't blame him for doing so.

Solemnly, Ciel watched as Alois walked over to the balcony, he being bathed in silvery moonlight.

"DO YOU SEE NOW, CIEL?!" Alois yelled from the balcony, getting onto the railing. Ciel quickly shot up and reached a hand out to Alois, as if he could save him by doing such a meaningless task. "Alois don't do that! You could fall, you idiot!" Ciel ran toward the balcony.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!" Time went to a stand-still as Alois let himself fall backward.


	2. Hero

Chapter 2

Hero

Everything went to a standstill. Ciel was moving as fast as he could, trying to save the boy from his demise. What exactly was Alois feeling? Of course, the boy had his fair share of depression, though he was very good at hiding it. He didn't feel it anymore; however, all he felt was the revenge that we all knew he so very much longed for. As he ran to save the blond boy's life, Ciel couldn't help but slightly hesitate. Why was he going to save him? There was nothing good that came out of the brat. When it came to Alois Trancy, Ciel couldn't think of anything good that could come out of saving him. Alois was unexpected, meaning no one would know what he was to do next. If Ciel saved him now, would he allow Ciel to go free? Questions jumbled together as his steps slowed, hesitation showing as Alois fell backward so effortlessly.

Ciel couldn't believe it, actually. Undoubtedly, he knew that Alois was quite bipolar, and understood, not entirely, his frequent mood swings.

Time was becoming a merciless thing, ticking away seconds that really didn't matter. Once Ciel got to the balcony, he was surprised to find the boy hanging on for dear life. "Ciel! Don't you dare try to help me up!" Alois' words and his voice were so contradicted that it almost made the blue-haired boy laugh right then at that moment. "Why? Because you feel like you deserve death?! If that is the case, then why are you hanging on?! Drop yourself! See if I care!"

Just then, the blond glared at him and let go. Instantly, Ciel grabbed hold of the boy's hand, struggling to pull the older blond up. "I thought you wanted me to fall?! What are you bloody waiting for?! Do it!" Ciel only glared in response. "Just shut up and let me concentrate!" Ciel struggled and struggled, until he managed to pull the blond boy back up and onto his balcony.

Alois, stunned, stared at him and blinked back the tears that were forming in his eyes. "W-Why, Ciel…. Why would you save me?" Another bead to the string of questions directed at him. "Because… If I intend on killing you in the future, why would I allow you to end your own life now?" That was a lie of course. He only saved him because he felt that Alois did not deserve to die. It was simple, really. Deep down, underneath all that bratty, annoyingness laid a good person… Or at least that was how Ciel saw it. Alois could be sweet when he wanted to, and kind when he was up for it. But he could also be a depressed little fuck when he wanted to as well.

The blond stared for a while longer, before smiling softly. "Bull shit." He said before standing up. "I know you like me Ciel, don't you even try to deny it." Alois smirked, then shuffled over to his bed and climbed in. "Don't even think I'll leave you alone here." Ciel said, crossing his arms as the blush that crept up on him from before refused to leave his cheeks. "How absurd…" He shook his head.

"Oh, so you're going to sleep with me, Ciel-sy?" Ciel-sy was a nickname Alois had grown accustomed to calling him. Alois smirked. The blush on Ciel's face grew deeper and he gulped. "How could one be so vulgar...? You should watch that mouth of yours, Alois." Ciel seated himself on the edge of the bed gingerly, recoiling into the shyer boy that he hated showing in front of people. "Aww, aren't you a cutie, Ciel-sy. Well, I'm going to bed now." The skinny boy turned over and almost immediately he fell asleep.


	3. Restless

Chapter 3

Restless

Things went by somewhat swimmingly over the past few days. Alois' depression had, actually gotten better, and was back to his original self again. Ciel, on the other hand however, was conflicted. He couldn't shake the thought of Alois hanging onto the balcony, begging Ciel to let him fall, to forget him. How could he do such a thing? How could he have told him that he would _kill _him anyway? Ciel was so cruel! Why would he say that to someone who was just saved from plummeting to their death?!

"Speak already! Why are you so damn quiet? It's annoying!" Alois interrupted, angrily stuffing a steamed carrot into his mouth. Sebastian, Ciel's butler, hadn't come for him yet. Ciel was growing suspicious of the demon, but decided upon staying at the Trancy Estate long enough to keep an eye on his suicidal acquaintance. "What would you like me to say, Your Highness?" Ciel mocked, picking at his puréed chicken with his fork, not entirely hungry. "Oh, do you intend to mock me the entire evening? Come now, Ciel, don't you dare give me that bullshit. Anyway, why aren't you eating? Is it not to your standards?" Alois was just rambling now, trying to settle the silence between them. "I'm not hungry." Despite what he said, Ciel scooped some of the rice into his gold fork, hesitantly taking it in.

The conversation between the two was normal, much to Ciel's liking. Afterward, the two played chess. Alois got frustrated when he lost, thus resulting in him flipping over the chess table and storming out. Mysteriously, Ciel had gotten his Funtom paperwork mailed to the Trancy Manor. His thoughts and actions were interrupted by the blond coming into Ciel's temporary bedroom. "Ciel? Can I speak with you?" Ciel looked up at him with a glare. "Why must you bother me at this moment? Is it not evident that I am working?" Alois rolled his eyes and entered the room, sitting on the bed nonchalantly. "I can't sleep." Just like that, the blond pouted and laid on his stomach, kicking his feet in the air. Why did that brat have to annoy him at the worst possible times?

"Did you count sheep?"

"I lost count. And it's not fun when you can't see the damn things."

"Well did you try sleeping without a pillow?"

"That isn't comfortable at all! Do you expect me to sleep uncomfortable?!"

Obviously Alois was cranky, seeing that it was at least midnight. "Well what do you want me to do, Alois? I'm not your babysitter." Ciel huffed, tidying up his things since; he clearly wasn't going to get any further work finished with these interruptions. "I didn't ask you to be, you idiot. I asked you to put me to sleep. Shouldn't you have learned something from that mistake you call a demon?" He crawled up toward the head of the bed, pulling the blankets and sheets over himself. "Oh no. Do you think you're _really _going to sleep there? Where in hell am I going to sleep?"

Alois didn't respond, only because the answer was so very obvious. The blond wanted something, and Ciel wouldn't give it to him. He needed to be persuaded to do so. When Ciel figured out what exactly Alois was referring to, he blushed deeply. "Absolutely not! I most certainly will _not _sleep in the same bed with you! You must be completely out of your mind, Trancy!" His blush deepened when Alois sat up in bed with a smirk, he patting the spot next to him on the lavish and large bed.

Why did Ciel put up with the other earl's sexual advances; he wondered. Why? Deep down within him, did Ciel actually _enjoy _being the object of such advances? Perhaps it made him feel wanted. Perhaps it made him feel loved. Ciel would never admit it, but maybe that was how he felt.

"Come now, Ciel. Don't keep me waiting~" The blond purred, too comfortable to crawl to the edge of the bed, in order to further beckon him. Ciel's eye twitched and, with a long deep sigh, he turned to his temporary wardrobe. Since Ciel was currently residing in one of the many guest bedrooms, it had its own guest bath. Grabbing his night shirt, he turned to the older earl with a glare. "Don't you dare try to come into the bath. If you do, so help me, Alois, I will kill you on the spot. Understood?" Alois didn't respond. He only smirked and rolled his eyes, tossing some of his blond hair out of his eyes.

At that, Ciel made his way into the bathroom, undressing with some difficulty, since he didn't exactly know how to dress himself. Being without a butler was quite difficult for Ciel. Although, Ciel was able to dress himself better, being that he was going without help for quite some time now. Alois, the mischievous being he was, wasn't going to just sit there and wait for the boy to come out. How could he?! Ciel even told him not to go into the bathroom! He just simply _had _to! Smirking devilishly, Alois made his way toward the bathroom, tiptoeing so that he couldn't be heard.

Ciel was completely unaware of the blond coming toward him, he in practically nothing but his undergarments. His clothes were folded sloppily on top of the counter, waiting to be put in another pile for the maid to wash. Alois opened the door a peak, it creaking slightly, causing him to flinch and hide. Ciel looked behind him quickly, a look of annoyance on his face. "Alois, if that is you, do not test my patience." Alois had to suppress a giggle. Going back to the door, he peeked again, this time kicking open the useless thing. "Oh, Ciel! You look so adorable. Though, I think you'd look better without that dingy cotton thing around your waste." Ciel blushed. "Damn you! Get out this _instant! _Did I not instruct you to wait in the damn bed?!" Ciel quickly put on the nightshirt, and pushed Alois out of the doorframe, failing since he was far weaker and more petite.

Alois was laughing like a maniac now, crawling back into bed as he did so. "You get flustered very easily, much like a girl. How adorable." Once Ciel had gotten into bed, trying to stay as far away from the Trancy brat as possible, Alois made his experience far less enjoyable by crawling over to his side and laying his head in his lap. Ciel glared down at him, seeing that pushing him off would just lead to more problems, and he would just come back anyway.

"What do you want? Go to sleep." Ciel was very annoyed at the moment, and couldn't be bothered.

"Get that stick out of your ass, Ciel, and laugh a little. I'm only teasing." Alois sighed and, still close to him, got up and laid down next to him. Ciel blew out the candles, the room dark only for the moonlight that peered through from the grand window in the room.

Later in the evening, the two sound asleep. Alois wrapped an arm around the boy, he up against his back. Ciel sighed within his sleep, smiling slightly at the new warmth. He snuggled closer to Alois. The night went on soundless, though with much bliss.


	4. Awakening

Chapter 4

Awakening

Alois awoke with a lazy yawn. The night had been warm, he recalled, since he didn't really sleep well since _the incident. _Though the warmth wasn't uncomfortable, in fact it was the opposite. In fact, it had been the best night's sleep he'd ever had. He didn't want to get out of bed because of it. Alois yawned again, not even noticing the bluenette beside him; the same bluenette he had snuggled up against last night. Oh, what joy it would be to watch the boy freak out over such physical contact.

Why would Ciel, Alois would wonder often. Maybe he came on too strong? That was usually the case. Their problem was that the both of them had short tempers, and couldn't love as freely as they should. Alois was bipolar, causing him to be unpredictable. Ciel was usually moody, and a workaholic, so he didn't usually like to be bothered. It was simply impossible for Alois to love a person like this. So rude, annoying, and so uptight that it was even hard to be so close to him. But somehow, he always came back to being attracted to him. Somehow, Ciel made Alois love him. He didn't want to, but he did, and he was certain that he didn't want to let him go. He wasn't going to share _his _Ciel. Not with anyone. Not with Lizzie, that mistake of a butler, not anyone. Ciel was his, and there was nothing that could change that.

At that moment, Ciel stirred, and whimpered in his sleep. The earl turned over on his side, now facing the blond. His lips were parted slightly, both eyes closed, a sleepy pinkish hue cascading his cheeks. Little, warm, steady breaths escaped the younger, they puffing up on Alois' face, causing him to blush softly. _He looks so cute, _Alois thought to himself. Gently, he brushed some blue-gray hair out of the younger earl's face, smiling to himself as Ciel leaned into his touch. "Mnnnghha…" Ciel whimpered in his sleep, shaking his head slightly, curling up into Alois, almost as if for protection. He was having a nightmare no doubt. Poor baby. As if to comfort the sleeping earl, he wrapped his arms and legs around him, head leaning into his shoulder, warm breath puffing at his neck. Ciel shivered, but now seemed calmer than he was before.

It felt like an hour or two went passed, and Alois had gotten so comfortable, that he had fallen asleep. Ciel had awoken, frozen. What in bloody hell did Alois think he was doing? Was the brat even conscious?! Moving his head from his now excruciatingly warm neck, he gazed into his closed eyes, stared at his pinkish cheeks, small unconscious smile, messy blond hair that fell over his eyes ever so slightly. It made Ciel just want to… Wait. What? What was he thinking?! Why would he have such thoughts…? Why such thoughts about Alois… About a _boy _entirely! He was _betrothed, _need he be reminded! Elizabeth would have a fit if she saw this. She would most certainly cry, complain to Francis or her father, then Edward would come and have his head on a silver platter. Thank the Lord that they had no clue where he was. What was Sebastian's excuse? Did he even notice he was gone? If he did, he wouldn't be here. He'd be having breakfast or mid-afternoon tea and sweets, followed by his lessons given the day of the week. Finnian should have noticed, in fact the whole staff should have noticed. Do they not care?

Somehow his thoughts wandered back to Alois. Ciel found himself smiling at the unconscious smile, how his head would bob every once in a while, how his unconscious lips parted every once in a while. He was breath taking. Ciel couldn't deny it. Alois was actually _pleasant _when asleep, he had now found out. Thinking on it, actually, Alois could indeed be pleasant when he wanted to. Of course, he had to mess with Ciel, and Ciel understood that. Alois could be cute when he wanted, whether he knew that or not. He was doing it now, and he didn't even know it. Thinking these things, Ciel blushed, biting his lower lip in a flustered manner. Why did he feel a fuzzy feeling in his lower abdomen? It felt funny… As if a million butterflies had just been released from their cocoons, and those cocoons were inside of him. He had never felt this way before, not about anyone. It felt… Nice. He welcomed it, though he didn't exactly understand why he felt this way. Could it be because of the boy in his arms?

After a few minutes of thinking and blushing, Alois woke up. When his eyes opened, he was greeted by a flustered Ciel, who quickly turned away. "Good morning to you as well, gorgeous." Alois said, smirking. Ciel blushed deeper and pushed Alois away from him, sitting up just as quickly as he looked away from the mischievous blond. "Shut up, you vulgar twat. You should consider yourself lucky I even allowed you to sleep here by my side without me strangling you to death." Ciel muttered through gritted teeth. Alois only laughed. "Don't act like you didn't enjoy it, Phantomhive. You did seem to earlier." He shot back, slyness emanating from his words alone. "I'm going to the bathroom," Ciel mumbled, blushing madly. "Oh, good! Would you like me to come piss with you?" That tore it. "No, I most certainly would not, you—Oh, why do I even bother?!" With that, Ciel stomped into the bathroom, and slammed the door.

Alois was a laughing mess. Teasing his beloved was so much fun, even though he was called such terrible names because of it. When Ciel came out of the bathroom, he looked utterly annoyed and done with all of the blond brat's shenanigans. Alois stared intently at Ciel, eyes glazed over with mischief. Ciel had planned on dressing into something more appropriate, but seeing that ice blue irises were boring into him, he couldn't.

"Do you mind?"

"Mind what?"

"I would much like to get dressed."

"Go ahead. No one here's stopping you."

Ciel blushed. "I most certainly will not dress with you staring at me as if I were your next meal!" Outraged, he took his clothes and secluded himself in the bathroom once more. Alois shrugged, giggling as he left the room to change himself. When he returned, Ciel was fully dressed, and struggling with his eye patch. "Would you like some help?" Alois asked kindly, tilting his head slightly. The sight was enough to make Ciel blush again, but he fought hard so that the pesky heat wouldn't come across his cheeks. "I don't need your hel—God damn it!" Ciel nearly threw the black piece of fabric to the carpeted floor, but Alois rushed over to him before he could. "Just accept the fucking help when you clearly need it, you dunce." Alois threw the piece of fabric somewhere near the bed, forgotten. "Why in hell did you do that?!" Alois looked at him. "Because it is only you and I here. You don't need that around me. Is it not obvious?"

The day went by fairly quickly. Lots of bickering and arguing filled it, along with fluffy feelings and far away longing stares at each other. Ciel was now certain. What he felt for the Trancy brat was longing. He was attracted to him. Why; he did not know. He just did. He might not love it, but he was actually…. Glad. Ciel was glad that he felt these feelings, but wasn't glad that he felt them for this particular person.

**A/N: Hello! I am well aware that this is the fourth chapter. Thank you for all the comments and nice reviews. I am very insecure about my writing and this is a big self esteem booster for me. I am sorry for the mindless fluff throughout the last chapters. I am simply trying to build up their feelings before they… Do the thing. Anyway, I am not sure about how many chapters I will include. I suppose the plot will just sort of plot itself. Again, thank you, and I think the 'doing' will commence in the next chapter… Or maybe the one after that. I should really change the genre shouldn't I?**


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